God Lit the Flame to my Soul


Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.

Isaiah 60:1 (KJV)

    I have been in a place lately where I have to admit that I am not the same person today that I was yesterday. I will not be the same tomorrow as I am today. I am not saying this to be cliche', but I see myself differently daily. If you know anything about my story and all that I have been through it is visible that something is not the same. Things have changed. I have changed. At the end of the day, I am convinced that I know why. 

    For years, I struggled with depression. I dealt with the sadness of loss. I have experienced the heartbreak of grief. I was in that place for a long time. I can honestly say that I didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Even though the Word of God said that I was the light of the world; I felt like I was barely flickering. (Matt. 5:14) It felt like I was never going to see anything, but the darkness surrounding me. I remember thinking that if I was in my "dung" heap like Job and that I would die there. I was trying to hold on and there were times when I almost let go. 

    I can say with confidence that I lived 2 Corinthians 4:8-10: We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.  I believe that I couldn't see light because my heart had grown faint. For that reason, I can only attribute it to God that I didn't lose my mind, my life or my faith because God lit a flame in my soul. 


    I remember people coming along and trying to encourage me. I remember well meaning people giving me advice that they thought would help. All I could think was that they didn't understand how dark the pit in my soul was. They couldn't see how deep the abyss of my existence felt. For a while I began to resent that those around me were trying to tell me how I should see my life and how I needed to feel. They weren't living in the prison of my emotions. When, I tell you that it was the darkest place you could ever live - it was. Even in the midst of the darkness, there was still a slight part of me that thought there had to be more. 


    I am saved. I am sanctified and filled with the Holy Spirit. I didn't backslide. I wasn't living a double life. I was doing all that I knew to do to walk with God. In the midst of trying to go the right way, things got hard. Life turned a corner for what was one of the hardest seasons that I could have ever imagined. As I turned that corner though I saw a light. It didn’t always make sense to me.  St. John 1:5 says it like this, “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” (KJV) . It was dim at first, but the closer I got to it the brighter it was.  When I saw the light growing brighter I craved to have more light. The light was the true love of Jesus Christ. This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5 (KJV)  I didn’t know or understand His love this way before, but I could now. It was more personal.  

    All I can say is the darker it is the brighter the light becomes in that place. As my soul is illuminated by His Spirit more and more I realize that only God can light that flame that is within me. He did for me as He did for the psalmist in Chapter 31 verse 6 “Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: save me for thy mercies' sake.” Psalm 31:16 (KJV). Therefore be encouraged that the flame may grow dark or even dim, but as long as you have God you have a flicker. That flicker can turn into a flame which ultimately turns into a 4-alarm fire in your spirit. It will give you that life more abundantly. (John 10:10b)  Just hold on and let God fan the flame inside of you.

Prayer: Father, thank You that as long as You are there we have light. Lord, help us when we grow faint. Help us when we feel weary and weak. Help us when we feel like our hope is dim. Lord, help us to hold on just a little while longer. Help us to keep going even if we feel like we can’t go on. Help us to never ever give up on You. Lord, thank You for stirring the flames of the hearts of all those who are reading this. You have a purpose for every life and no one here is any different. You love all of us and want the best for us. Help us to see and know Your love more intently. Thank you for the light of Your love.  Amen.


If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior now is the best time to make the choice. He wants to have a personal relationship with you. If you want to know Him more also please say this prayer: 

Lord, I am a sinner. I realize today that I need the light of Your love.  I repent. Forgive me for my sins. Today, I confess with my mouth that the Lord Jesus Christ died and rose again for my sins according to Romans 10:9. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Take complete control of my life. Thank you Lord that I am now saved. I trust you and thank you for my new life. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 


References: Isaiah 60:1, Matthew 5:14, 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, St. John 1:5, 1 John 1:5, Psalm 31:16, John 10:10(b) - All King James version and from the sinner's prayer Romans 10:9


Follow Me:

FB: https://www.facebook.com/SOFaith2013

IG: https://www.instagram.com/sistersoffaith2013/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoVGIIqsp7R4nbIBvjaL6Ow





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's Time to Get Off the Fence

     Either you're for me or you're against me this is what Jesus said in Matthew 12:30. These are harsh words to some people, but it's a matter of loyalty to God. Are you going to go all in or keep one foot out because it's convenient? He also said if you're not gathering you're scattering. It's every believer's responsibility to draw others to Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:11)       It's relatively black and white. You're either pursuing a relationship with Christ or you're pulling back. Luke 9:62 says, “But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”(NASB)  It's so easy for people to say things like, "well there's more than one way to Heaven." Jesus said differently. He is the Way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Him. (John 14:6)  Convenience tells us to be neutral. One problem: Jesus wasn't neutral. He was radical....
Read more

Sufferings

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." - Romans 8:18 I have to say that the scripture above never really had as deep a meaning as it has had in the last couple years, months, weeks, etc. of my life. Most people who know me personally or are following my blogs know my story to some extent. It's that I am: currently unemployed, living with my parents (again) after losing my job in Wichita, Ks. About 3 months before I lost my job, I suffered a seizure at the wheel and got into a horrendous car wreck; losing my driving privileges for 6 months and totaled out my vehicle (that I was still paying for without current insurance since I was recovering from the 2010 unemployment issue). Yeah, yeah, yeah...you all have heard my story. I have told it so many times I think I am even tired of hearing it. To say that I have had some challenges would be an understatement. To say that it has bee...
Read more

Patient with Me

     One of the best qualities that exists in God is His patience.  The very first phrase is 1 Corinthians 13:4 is, “Love is patient.” (NIV) When I think about true love, I have to align my expectations with the Only True and wise God- with Jesus. He is the purest form of love. (1 John 4:8b) I think the most transcendent characteristic of the Lord is that He is patient. Not only is He patient, but He suffers long with us.       What is long suffering? From what I understand, it is made up of 2 different words in Greek that are long and temper. That in essence means, God has restraint even when He is upset.  He is not quick to retaliate or punish because of His displeasure. How many of us can say that we are like this? Psalm 103:8 describes it like this, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.”(ESV)      When we look at the World around us we see that no one is patient. No one is willin...
Read more