Sufferings

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." - Romans 8:18

I have to say that the scripture above never really had as deep a meaning as it has had in the last couple years, months, weeks, etc. of my life. Most people who know me personally or are following my blogs know my story to some extent. It's that I am: currently unemployed, living with my parents (again) after losing my job in Wichita, Ks. About 3 months before I lost my job, I suffered a seizure at the wheel and got into a horrendous car wreck; losing my driving privileges for 6 months and totaled out my vehicle (that I was still paying for without current insurance since I was recovering from the 2010 unemployment issue). Yeah, yeah, yeah...you all have heard my story. I have told it so many times I think I am even tired of hearing it.

To say that I have had some challenges would be an understatement. To say that it has been difficult or hard maybe could do the situation a bit more justice. I think that for me the most difficult thing is being in a place where I believe that things have to get better, only to get knocked down time and time again. Setbacks are extremely terse when you don't feel like you have good footing. It's safe to say that there are many days that I am not so sure about my footing. So I have these feelings of frustration, anger, and downright agitation and some of them are with God while others with myself. I think, "What am I not doing? What lesson is it that I haven't learned? Where have I been disobedient?..." On and on and on.

Then there is a part of me that hears the Word of God in my spirit, even if it is faint. I hear the Holy Spirit remind me that "I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread." (Psalms 37:25) or "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him." (Job 13:15). This part of me that speaks these words over and over like a broken record in my head speak, Romans 8:18 as well. It reminds me that in these times, God is building character in me. He's pouring my life out like gold and burning out the dross of my heart. I have my moments when I almost feel like a hypocrite for using this blog as a platform to encourage others since I too feel sometimes discouraged. I then hear the Spirit telling me that my life is not my own and my troubles, trials, sufferings and tribulations are not just for me. They are for you too.

I hate to get mushy and all heartwarming on you, but I gotta tell you the same thing the Spirit keeps saying to me "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) This life is not an easy road, Christian or not, but without Jesus you are hopeless. With Christ, I know and have hope that things will get better. They may not today or tomorrow, but they will eventually turn around. So in the meantime, keep going, hold your head up and use the Word of God as your guide to keep pushing forward.

Love you,

Minister Erica Standley

XOXO